~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vaurn James’s Newsletter
April 16, 2011
Access 250,000 Advertising Credits for FREE
successroute.biz
successroute.biz/newsletter
Publisher: Vaurn James
215-728-4905 or 1-800-417-0196
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“FaceBook, Twitter and other social network websites
continue to grow exponentially on a global scale because
people are by nature SOCIAL ANIMALS, who interact
in social groups. Since that’s our nature it presents an ideal
Opportunity for businesses to provide the masses products
/services, that have VALUE”.
Let me know your comments about this article. Oh yes, collect
250,000 credits (ABOVE).
So you think Social Networking Sites are a Waste of Time? Think again, Google's new Indexing System says different, site owners take note.
If you have been one of the nay-sayers about Social Networking sites like FaceBook, MySpace, Twitter, Friendster, and YouTube you may want to rethink this belief. If you have been saying, "I just don't get it." It's time to "get it" especially if you want to exploit this for the good of your online business.
First, you need to know that Google is now indexing Social Networking content including video, images and blogs right alongside with webpages. What this means for you is this. If you don't use these sites to promote your business you are missing out on a lot of free promotion for your business and opportunity to get better indexed at search engines. The more content you have online about your business, products and services, the better indexed your site will be. This means your customers and prospects will be more easily able to find what you have to offer at your site. The more links TO your site (called backlinks), the more popular your site is viewed by search engines, especially if those links come from what are deemed as high-profile (authority ) sites.
Here is what you need to know to capitalize on all this free promotion for your business (essentially this is Search Engine Optimization Strategy whether you know it or not).
Getting good returns from Social Search Results means:
1. If you don't have a Google account get one. Make sure you have all of your important links on your Google Profile. 2. Do make as many connections as possible on the most popular social networking sites especially the ones that attract your market. 3. Encourage customers to follow you via social networks. Include your Twitter address, FaceBook address etc on your site and your marketing materials. 4. Participate in social media so people will engage with you. This starts with getting a free account for your business on the popular social sites. 5. Encourage sharing of content (there are plenty available social media buttons) Example: Flicker, Digg, etc, 6. Always include social network information on business cards, signs and so forth. Get the word out in as many places as you can. 7. Be sure to include as much social network information as you can in your online promotions 8. Everywhere you network include a link BACK to your website - this is CRITICAL.
Remember when doing searches, social results will always be clearly marked as such on Google's SERPs (Search Engine Results Page). The returns will be accompanied by a heading "Results from your social circle". For traditional Search Engine Optimization (SEO), it is just one more thing to compete with as far as website property. That's why social networking is a much more of an important part of search than ever. Get on board now, Google will be announcing more changes to their new indexing system, so make the most of this information now.
Sandi Hunter, is the Director of Website Development at Worldprofit Inc., and an IT Consultant for small and home business owners. Republished with author's permission by Vaurn James http://SuccessRoute.biz.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Monetizing Free Speech: Even When It’s Repulsive….Ask Jay Severin!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vaurn James’s Newsletter
April 16, 2011
Access 250,000 Advertising Credits for FREE
successroute.biz
successroute.biz/newsletter
Publisher: Vaurn James
215-728-4905 or 1-800-417-0196
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shock radio celebrities VALUE the First Amendment more
than their salaries, because without Free Speech, their style of
Entertainment would be Verboten. Now, what happens when
those outrageous and disgusting antics no longer generate profit?
What does management do to the SHOCK JOCK? Fin out!!!!
Let me know your comments about this article. Oh yes, collect
250,000 credits (ABOVE).
by Dr. Jeffrey Lant
It's usually at night that bats, creepy crawlies, and radio shock jocks come out. Of these by far the most noxious are the shock jocks... and of these Jay Severin is one of the worst; meaning he is one of the best.
First, the facts.
James Thompson Severino, professionally known as Jay Severin, has a plum position: he is paid almost a cool million a year to go on air and hurt, verbally maim, shred, destroy, demean, pulverize, abash, humiliate. When you listen to Jay and his ilk what you want is maximum pain for the maximum number. You want it raw, fast, funny, stomach churning. And you want it now!
Jay, a pig of a fellow, obliges.
He's called Mexican immigrants "primitives," "leeches," and exporters of "women with mustaches and VD."
He's called the Reverend Jesse Jackson a "pimp, a race hustler."
He's called Hillary Clinton something gross and offensive, deliberately, without qualification or regret.
He's said that in his rarefied world "the poor and stupid would starve."
Jay's job was about dishing out this cretinous rubbish night in, night out, anything to keep listeners frozen to the dial, expectantly waiting for his next outrageous stink bomb. It was always on the way...
From time to time, his employers at WTKK-FM radio determined that he had transgressed some arbitrary line separating "acceptable" verbal slogging and slops from the "unacceptable." As a result, Jay would do his usual potty-mouth routine for a while; then say some "no no" (no worse than his usual stock in trade) that would result in suspension by his suddenly sanctimonious employers, all incense and Ave Maria.
These latter-day purists would chastise Jay, take him off the air, reprimand him, fine him, and return him to insult another day. Such folks clearly wanted to eat their rancid cake and keep it, too. It was a well-recognized game in the industry.
First, WTKK-FM wants you to know that they are purveyors of the very best in on-air content; they are good corporate citizens, too. But there is the flip side of that coin. They can, without missing a beat, talk about high standards and merit awards on the one hand... while giving Jay Severin's always hurtful remarks the widest possible play on the other.
Having raked in the money for a while with Jay's utterly tasteless remarks, his employers, citing one of these remarks no more repulsive than the rest, intervene, pooh-pooh the matter, cite their non-existent community standards, fine the bugger, take him off the air for a time... then return him for more. It's a dance... and it is well known to all the participants.
Problem is, the times they are a-changing.
There is reason to hope and to believe that the "glory days" of Jay Severin and his kind are waning. There is so much pain in the world these days; so much real tragedy, so many people in despair without hope, that we really need to ask ourselves whether we truly need artificially engendered pain dished out by jerks like Severin? Haven't we got more than our share of miseries without him?
That argument, powerful though it is, wouldn't begin to cut the mustard at WTKK-FM radio or anywhere else, if Severin's ratings were through the roof, generating the really big bucks. They'd let him insult, abuse, degrade all the way to the bank.
However, to the consternation of the hotshots at WTKK-FM purveying filth and slime hasn't delivered the audiences of ancient days. Both crucial ratings and more crucial revenues are down, down, down, with no sign of a turn- around coming anytime soon.
Thus WTKK-FM had a problem. They liked Jay, they loved Jay when he was the golden boy, for all that he was stupid, ignorant, a bully. What did that matter when the money was rolling in? But it was an entirely different matter when it slowed to a comparative trickle.
The corporate big shots didn't like the idea of admitting they had misread the trends by keeping Jay (now old hat) on longer than warranted. That would have made them look like they goofed, and no executive likes that when there's a likely scapegoat at hand, Jay himself.
First, understand that no one but no one actually ever liked Jay. To the senior execs at WTKK-FM he was a necessary evil; tolerated but that's all. The truth is, he was a trained dog, hired to do a job that was distasteful to virtually everyone concerned with it but who were, in the heady days, all in on the take. It was sordid... it was disgraceful... it was never anything other than filth. It was, and is, the American way at our all too frequent worst.
Just the other day, Jay was being Jay (tasteless, boorish, bombastic), talking about a lawsuit involving a CEO who is being sued for sexual harassment by former female employees. Severin called the women "whores and liars" and said they belong in jail. He also said he didn't understood what all the fuss was about, telling his listeners that as a former company owner, he had hired "mostly attractive young women" and had sex with nearly all of them over two decades.
The folks at WTKK-FM, glancing at the ratings and revenues, discovered they had an "appropriate level of civility" and that Jay has affronted it. They fired him pronto... letting the world know that Jay, the voice of the gutter, no longer had a place on the schedule of their suddenly simon-pure institution. How they could have said and published this with a straight face is anyone's guess.
Jay, of course, will probably sue them; he will in any event turn up somewhere amongst other folks working to spin slime into profits. But let's be real clear on this: had his remarks increased ratings, he'd still be spouting on air today. And because we value the First Amendment, we'd all have to support him in the exercise of his free speech; support him, yes, but always change the dial. For, like Voltaire, I defend his right to say it.... I also value my right not to hear it.
About The Author
Harvard-educated Dr. Jeffrey Lant is CEO of Worldprofit, Inc., where small and home-based businesses learn how to profit online. Attend Dr. Lant's live webcast TODAY and receive 50,000 free guaranteed visitors to the website of your choice! Dr. Lant is also the author of 18 best-selling business books. Republished with author's permission by Vaurn James http://SuccessRoute.biz.
Vaurn James’s Newsletter
April 16, 2011
Access 250,000 Advertising Credits for FREE
successroute.biz
successroute.biz/newsletter
Publisher: Vaurn James
215-728-4905 or 1-800-417-0196
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shock radio celebrities VALUE the First Amendment more
than their salaries, because without Free Speech, their style of
Entertainment would be Verboten. Now, what happens when
those outrageous and disgusting antics no longer generate profit?
What does management do to the SHOCK JOCK? Fin out!!!!
Let me know your comments about this article. Oh yes, collect
250,000 credits (ABOVE).
by Dr. Jeffrey Lant
It's usually at night that bats, creepy crawlies, and radio shock jocks come out. Of these by far the most noxious are the shock jocks... and of these Jay Severin is one of the worst; meaning he is one of the best.
First, the facts.
James Thompson Severino, professionally known as Jay Severin, has a plum position: he is paid almost a cool million a year to go on air and hurt, verbally maim, shred, destroy, demean, pulverize, abash, humiliate. When you listen to Jay and his ilk what you want is maximum pain for the maximum number. You want it raw, fast, funny, stomach churning. And you want it now!
Jay, a pig of a fellow, obliges.
He's called Mexican immigrants "primitives," "leeches," and exporters of "women with mustaches and VD."
He's called the Reverend Jesse Jackson a "pimp, a race hustler."
He's called Hillary Clinton something gross and offensive, deliberately, without qualification or regret.
He's said that in his rarefied world "the poor and stupid would starve."
Jay's job was about dishing out this cretinous rubbish night in, night out, anything to keep listeners frozen to the dial, expectantly waiting for his next outrageous stink bomb. It was always on the way...
From time to time, his employers at WTKK-FM radio determined that he had transgressed some arbitrary line separating "acceptable" verbal slogging and slops from the "unacceptable." As a result, Jay would do his usual potty-mouth routine for a while; then say some "no no" (no worse than his usual stock in trade) that would result in suspension by his suddenly sanctimonious employers, all incense and Ave Maria.
These latter-day purists would chastise Jay, take him off the air, reprimand him, fine him, and return him to insult another day. Such folks clearly wanted to eat their rancid cake and keep it, too. It was a well-recognized game in the industry.
First, WTKK-FM wants you to know that they are purveyors of the very best in on-air content; they are good corporate citizens, too. But there is the flip side of that coin. They can, without missing a beat, talk about high standards and merit awards on the one hand... while giving Jay Severin's always hurtful remarks the widest possible play on the other.
Having raked in the money for a while with Jay's utterly tasteless remarks, his employers, citing one of these remarks no more repulsive than the rest, intervene, pooh-pooh the matter, cite their non-existent community standards, fine the bugger, take him off the air for a time... then return him for more. It's a dance... and it is well known to all the participants.
Problem is, the times they are a-changing.
There is reason to hope and to believe that the "glory days" of Jay Severin and his kind are waning. There is so much pain in the world these days; so much real tragedy, so many people in despair without hope, that we really need to ask ourselves whether we truly need artificially engendered pain dished out by jerks like Severin? Haven't we got more than our share of miseries without him?
That argument, powerful though it is, wouldn't begin to cut the mustard at WTKK-FM radio or anywhere else, if Severin's ratings were through the roof, generating the really big bucks. They'd let him insult, abuse, degrade all the way to the bank.
However, to the consternation of the hotshots at WTKK-FM purveying filth and slime hasn't delivered the audiences of ancient days. Both crucial ratings and more crucial revenues are down, down, down, with no sign of a turn- around coming anytime soon.
Thus WTKK-FM had a problem. They liked Jay, they loved Jay when he was the golden boy, for all that he was stupid, ignorant, a bully. What did that matter when the money was rolling in? But it was an entirely different matter when it slowed to a comparative trickle.
The corporate big shots didn't like the idea of admitting they had misread the trends by keeping Jay (now old hat) on longer than warranted. That would have made them look like they goofed, and no executive likes that when there's a likely scapegoat at hand, Jay himself.
First, understand that no one but no one actually ever liked Jay. To the senior execs at WTKK-FM he was a necessary evil; tolerated but that's all. The truth is, he was a trained dog, hired to do a job that was distasteful to virtually everyone concerned with it but who were, in the heady days, all in on the take. It was sordid... it was disgraceful... it was never anything other than filth. It was, and is, the American way at our all too frequent worst.
Just the other day, Jay was being Jay (tasteless, boorish, bombastic), talking about a lawsuit involving a CEO who is being sued for sexual harassment by former female employees. Severin called the women "whores and liars" and said they belong in jail. He also said he didn't understood what all the fuss was about, telling his listeners that as a former company owner, he had hired "mostly attractive young women" and had sex with nearly all of them over two decades.
The folks at WTKK-FM, glancing at the ratings and revenues, discovered they had an "appropriate level of civility" and that Jay has affronted it. They fired him pronto... letting the world know that Jay, the voice of the gutter, no longer had a place on the schedule of their suddenly simon-pure institution. How they could have said and published this with a straight face is anyone's guess.
Jay, of course, will probably sue them; he will in any event turn up somewhere amongst other folks working to spin slime into profits. But let's be real clear on this: had his remarks increased ratings, he'd still be spouting on air today. And because we value the First Amendment, we'd all have to support him in the exercise of his free speech; support him, yes, but always change the dial. For, like Voltaire, I defend his right to say it.... I also value my right not to hear it.
About The Author
Harvard-educated Dr. Jeffrey Lant is CEO of Worldprofit, Inc., where small and home-based businesses learn how to profit online. Attend Dr. Lant's live webcast TODAY and receive 50,000 free guaranteed visitors to the website of your choice! Dr. Lant is also the author of 18 best-selling business books. Republished with author's permission by Vaurn James http://SuccessRoute.biz.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
For royal wedding guests of Prince William and his Kate, April 29, 2011 a list of does and don'ts, especially the latter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vaurn James’s Newsletter
April 3, 2011
Access 250,000 Advertising Credits for FREE
successroute.biz
successroute.biz/newsletter
Publisher: Vaurn James
215-728-4905 or 1-800-417-0196
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Another Royal Wedding, will you be watching”.
PLEASE, submit your comments about this article.
by Dr. Jeffrey Lant
By now I am sure you are aware that April 29, 2011 is a very special day in the prodigious annals of the British monarchy. H.R.H. Prince William, white hope of the dynasty, marries his Kate... and his grandmama The Sovereign is adamant that all be done just so -- or else.
Sadly, you have not been invited. Admittedly it is abashing, even humiliating. But you will be glad to know that the lot of the those precious few invited is not a bed of roses. The empire on which the sun never set is history, but protocol, the right thing done in the right way, is very much alive chez Windsor.
Let's take a look.
The Windsors are nothing if not keen on pageants that are meticulously planned and flawlessly carried out. They know that it was not always thus in royal ceremonial. One way they know this was by careful scrutiny of my first book "Insubstantial Pageant: Ceremony and Confusion at Queen Victoria's Court". (1979). I was the first American ever granted access to the Royal Archives at Windsor Castle... and it was part of the deal that The Queen and Prince Charles get advance copies to increase their knowledge of the hopeless mismanagement of ceremonies by their regal ancestors.
Confusions, muddles, and disorganizations were the order of the day. It was supremely frustrating, irritating, and inexcusable that the English made so many mistakes, even lethal, in presenting the monarchy to the nation. Ceremonies of the highest significance and importance -- coronations even -- were so lamentably organized and delivered that the English monarchy became a byword for ineptitude.
We owe improvement to Prince Albert.
Queen Victoria, only 18 when she ascended the throne in 1837 had far better things to do than worry about ceremonial derelictions. For openers she was free of the heavy thrall of the Duchess of Kent, her mother; perhaps the ultimate controlling Stage Mother of all time. The first thing the new queen did was order her bed to be taken out of the bedroom she had shared all her life with her mother... then order dinner to be served to her alone, the first time that had ever happened. She was free, free at last! She was queen, her every wish a command instantly carried out. A few glaring mistakes in court ceremonial counted for nothing.
But the German princeling she married, Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha was very, very different. The insidious culture of royal errors and tolerance for same made him nervous, dyspeptic, and determined to apply Teutonic efficiency to the problem. He fumed, he fretted, he even wept at the minuscule progress. But there was progress. Just not enough of it.
As the grasping English built the largest empire ever assembled on this planet, their royal pageants continued to be notable for all the wrong reasons: they were lackadaisical about the protocol that consumed other royal houses; thereby causing endless hurt feelings. Their planning was always of the too little, too late variety. And like clockwork, security arrangements were so lax that every ceremony produced a bumper crop of dead, the victims of English inability to get it right... and without fatalities.
All this is no doubt known to Elizabeth II and the princes of her house and their constant motto is "Never again!" Thus, they are fastidious in the business of Getting It Right. When the English were a great nation, the sovereigns themselves were scarcely punctilious about such matters; but with only the shadow of empire remaining, they are all adamant that the royal ceremonies, in which they so prominently feature, be the very essence of polished perfection.
Hence the list of do's and don'ts now circulating amongst the honored guests, be they princes of the blood royal or (that democratic touch the royals are close to perfecting) personnel from the various charities patronized by the bride and groom. In Windsor eyes there is really no difference between them. For them there are, after all, only two ranks: Sovereign... and the rest.
Now to the various admonitions, politely phrased of course as suggestions, recommendations. But they are in fact royal commands and must be treated as such.
1) Don't give the queen a friendly hug. Michelle Obama, First Lady of these United States did something akin to that and the royal reaction was a tad below frosty.
2) Don't tweet. You are attending an historic event. Curtail all distractions.
3) Be on time. On this of all days, there is no such thing as fashionably late, even by a minute. The Queen is the last person to take her place; to upstage her is lese majeste, intolerable.
4) Ladies, select an outfit that blends in. You should wear a dress -- not too short, not too skimpy, and certainly not white. Most British women will complete the unmistakable (rather frumpy) look that screams "We're English!" with a hat or a fascinator -- a small feathered or jewelled hairpiece attached to a clip or a comb.
More politely disguised commands.
5) Leave your cellphone in the car. No one wants your ring tone to the tune of "The Stripper" to be part of the record.
6) Make sure you have all necessary medications with you. You need to know that no one, absolutely no one, will facilitate your egress to get them... and you will not be allowed to return either.
7) Visit the facilities as often as necessary to ensure bladder control. This means limiting liquids, just as you'd do for a colonoscopy, a not inapt comparison. (Avoid the solution adopted by one ceremony attending gent. He brought a soft drink bottle and used it like a chamber pot. The name of the perpetrator and the incident itself was immediately classified.)
"I didn't really want to go anyway."
Upon reading these guidelines and rules, you may say, and actually believe, that you didn't really want to go to this critical event of "Rule Britannia."
But we're kidding ourselves, aren't we? For the chance to see Prince William and be able to tell your non-invited neighbor that he's taller than he looks on telly is just too good to pass up. Not to mention the bride, and wasn't she lovely?
Indeed, to secure lifetime bragging rights because we were well and truly invited, we'd all, if ordered, go naked with a full body search to boot. Honi soit qui mal y pense.
About The Author
Harvard-educated Dr. Jeffrey Lant is CEO of Worldprofit, Inc., providing a wide range of online services for small and-home based businesses. Dr. Lant is also an authority expert on the royal family and author of 18 best-selling books. Republished with author's permission by Vaurn James http://SuccessRoute.biz.
=========================================================
(C) SuccessRoute.biz 2011 All Rights Reserved.
=========================================================
Vaurn James’s Newsletter
April 3, 2011
Access 250,000 Advertising Credits for FREE
successroute.biz
successroute.biz/newsletter
Publisher: Vaurn James
215-728-4905 or 1-800-417-0196
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Another Royal Wedding, will you be watching”.
PLEASE, submit your comments about this article.
by Dr. Jeffrey Lant
By now I am sure you are aware that April 29, 2011 is a very special day in the prodigious annals of the British monarchy. H.R.H. Prince William, white hope of the dynasty, marries his Kate... and his grandmama The Sovereign is adamant that all be done just so -- or else.
Sadly, you have not been invited. Admittedly it is abashing, even humiliating. But you will be glad to know that the lot of the those precious few invited is not a bed of roses. The empire on which the sun never set is history, but protocol, the right thing done in the right way, is very much alive chez Windsor.
Let's take a look.
The Windsors are nothing if not keen on pageants that are meticulously planned and flawlessly carried out. They know that it was not always thus in royal ceremonial. One way they know this was by careful scrutiny of my first book "Insubstantial Pageant: Ceremony and Confusion at Queen Victoria's Court". (1979). I was the first American ever granted access to the Royal Archives at Windsor Castle... and it was part of the deal that The Queen and Prince Charles get advance copies to increase their knowledge of the hopeless mismanagement of ceremonies by their regal ancestors.
Confusions, muddles, and disorganizations were the order of the day. It was supremely frustrating, irritating, and inexcusable that the English made so many mistakes, even lethal, in presenting the monarchy to the nation. Ceremonies of the highest significance and importance -- coronations even -- were so lamentably organized and delivered that the English monarchy became a byword for ineptitude.
We owe improvement to Prince Albert.
Queen Victoria, only 18 when she ascended the throne in 1837 had far better things to do than worry about ceremonial derelictions. For openers she was free of the heavy thrall of the Duchess of Kent, her mother; perhaps the ultimate controlling Stage Mother of all time. The first thing the new queen did was order her bed to be taken out of the bedroom she had shared all her life with her mother... then order dinner to be served to her alone, the first time that had ever happened. She was free, free at last! She was queen, her every wish a command instantly carried out. A few glaring mistakes in court ceremonial counted for nothing.
But the German princeling she married, Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha was very, very different. The insidious culture of royal errors and tolerance for same made him nervous, dyspeptic, and determined to apply Teutonic efficiency to the problem. He fumed, he fretted, he even wept at the minuscule progress. But there was progress. Just not enough of it.
As the grasping English built the largest empire ever assembled on this planet, their royal pageants continued to be notable for all the wrong reasons: they were lackadaisical about the protocol that consumed other royal houses; thereby causing endless hurt feelings. Their planning was always of the too little, too late variety. And like clockwork, security arrangements were so lax that every ceremony produced a bumper crop of dead, the victims of English inability to get it right... and without fatalities.
All this is no doubt known to Elizabeth II and the princes of her house and their constant motto is "Never again!" Thus, they are fastidious in the business of Getting It Right. When the English were a great nation, the sovereigns themselves were scarcely punctilious about such matters; but with only the shadow of empire remaining, they are all adamant that the royal ceremonies, in which they so prominently feature, be the very essence of polished perfection.
Hence the list of do's and don'ts now circulating amongst the honored guests, be they princes of the blood royal or (that democratic touch the royals are close to perfecting) personnel from the various charities patronized by the bride and groom. In Windsor eyes there is really no difference between them. For them there are, after all, only two ranks: Sovereign... and the rest.
Now to the various admonitions, politely phrased of course as suggestions, recommendations. But they are in fact royal commands and must be treated as such.
1) Don't give the queen a friendly hug. Michelle Obama, First Lady of these United States did something akin to that and the royal reaction was a tad below frosty.
2) Don't tweet. You are attending an historic event. Curtail all distractions.
3) Be on time. On this of all days, there is no such thing as fashionably late, even by a minute. The Queen is the last person to take her place; to upstage her is lese majeste, intolerable.
4) Ladies, select an outfit that blends in. You should wear a dress -- not too short, not too skimpy, and certainly not white. Most British women will complete the unmistakable (rather frumpy) look that screams "We're English!" with a hat or a fascinator -- a small feathered or jewelled hairpiece attached to a clip or a comb.
More politely disguised commands.
5) Leave your cellphone in the car. No one wants your ring tone to the tune of "The Stripper" to be part of the record.
6) Make sure you have all necessary medications with you. You need to know that no one, absolutely no one, will facilitate your egress to get them... and you will not be allowed to return either.
7) Visit the facilities as often as necessary to ensure bladder control. This means limiting liquids, just as you'd do for a colonoscopy, a not inapt comparison. (Avoid the solution adopted by one ceremony attending gent. He brought a soft drink bottle and used it like a chamber pot. The name of the perpetrator and the incident itself was immediately classified.)
"I didn't really want to go anyway."
Upon reading these guidelines and rules, you may say, and actually believe, that you didn't really want to go to this critical event of "Rule Britannia."
But we're kidding ourselves, aren't we? For the chance to see Prince William and be able to tell your non-invited neighbor that he's taller than he looks on telly is just too good to pass up. Not to mention the bride, and wasn't she lovely?
Indeed, to secure lifetime bragging rights because we were well and truly invited, we'd all, if ordered, go naked with a full body search to boot. Honi soit qui mal y pense.
About The Author
Harvard-educated Dr. Jeffrey Lant is CEO of Worldprofit, Inc., providing a wide range of online services for small and-home based businesses. Dr. Lant is also an authority expert on the royal family and author of 18 best-selling books. Republished with author's permission by Vaurn James http://SuccessRoute.biz.
=========================================================
(C) SuccessRoute.biz 2011 All Rights Reserved.
=========================================================
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